BLUNT
Her (side
of the) Story
By
Granville
js Johnson
To Frie
Hey girl! How's it
hangin (:>) So how's Grey Lake? I'm pretty high right now (:>) It's B
block but I don't have a class A block `cuz I {they} don't have French this
semester so I have to take correspondence. ha ha ha ha (evil sinister laughter)
I don't know why. I wrote that or did that ha ha. How ripped I am! (*>)
Nobody smokes weed in my science class, at least not the people I'm sitting
with. Oh well, theyÕre cool anyways (:>) They're not like the snobby non pot
smokers like Ingrid. Ha ha ha, I still don't like her (:>) Tell Matt to
hurry up and go home so I can phone him. (I've been trying to phone him for
awhile.) Oh well.
All we do in this
class is take notes and watch gay
ass movies (They're sooo gay, like
about rocks and shit.) ha ha. For notes, the teacher like writes down 10
questions (sentences with spaces) then he goes back and fills in all the spaces
for us! Ha ha, you don't have to think at all. My Social Studies class is easy too, all we did last class
was listen to him (the teacher) talk and
copy answers off other peopleÕs papers ( That was the actual assignment.) and then he told
us all the answers.
Aw shit! We have to
do 20 questions now! Ha ha, oh well. I'm not as high anymore. Oh shit! I'm
going with Jen at lunch (She doesn't smoke weed.) so I won't get high (:<)
Oh well, I have no money, anyways or weed. You Know what I noticed? I have said
"oh well"a lot in this letter. Oh well, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, what a CRACK head
I am! J/K (:>) That shit is crazy look what it did to Aaron. That's one of
the reasons He's cracked up now, `cuz he did so much coke. He was doing that shit
when we were real good friends and he didn't even tell me. Pretty shitty eh.
Well I better go (:>)
BLUNT
Love Shey
Dad's driving, driving his daughter home. Actually he's taking her back to her mother's home, where she has lived for the majority of her young life.
Twenty-five kilometers to Grey Lake, his beautiful daughter and her friend are indeed going home. It's Independence Day and the tense atmosphere within the hot/cold screaming silence is loud with guilt-choked protests, unspoken: save perhaps, the grinding moan of his knotted jaw muscles. His teeth are beginning to ache.
Shey's dad takes pride (Well, honestly, a lot of pride.) in the fact that they are all drop-dead gorgeous (inside and out) AND they look like him. He is, as he sees himself through his children, beautiful, personable, and even charismatic, in triplicate.
Sheheyla is a dancer, as are her father, mother and two siblings, (The girl comes by her talents honestly.). Her name means "girl-who-will-go-her-own way"and succinctly describes the spirit within his beautiful fifteen-year-old-going-on-six-decades-of-forgotten-wisdom. She is his hurry-up child. Riding on the coattails of her older, not necessarily wiser, siblings who carry their own conceived-by-dad names that are equally dressed with portents of egoism.
Shey, to her inner circle, bristles with a tired self-awareness as she envisions her triumphant return home: to her mother and best friend (who initially ordered her current exile to dad's house), to her world, to Grey Lake. Riding shotgun, Sheheyla is going her own way. She has been carefully watching her dad's gym bag, resting on the back seat directly behind him. She had borrowed the bag, on short notice, for the move. Now she quietly, fervently, willed it not to move or make any noise.
Sallome, the mediator and his oldest, is nineteen and in her second year at the Mountain View College as a Physical Education major with a double minor in Fine Art and English.
Cajun (brotherhood in courage) the Rasta-Dreadlock-adorned break-dancer, skate boarder, entrepreneur and general all-around leader-of-the-pack, is burdened with the weight of being his-only-son.
Shey's dad had long dreamed of sharing his home with her. He had waited and worked toward their time together for twelve of her fifteen years. The family subdivided, one home into two, during the summer of `89. He has watched her grow in mini-lifetimes, stop/go freeze-frames or snapshots, called "reasonable access".
Yet, he felt that he had to pull the plug, bail out, call it quits, stage a strategic retreat, regroup, and plan B. etc. on the "Life with Dad" sitcom that had become his daily life. Fulltime single dad, with two teenagers, (son and daughter) had a nice ring to it (Women were impressed.). He takes pride in his commitment to his children and solace in their commitment to each other.
Sheheyla was not a happy camper. His youngest near adult had systematically broken every household rule in their home, several times. He felt that it had all gone wrong, yet the cause of Shey's discontent was hidden within a "twilight zone" of misinformation. He pondered as he drove: Was she bored at school? Did the easier program and slower pace, not challenge her? Was she homesick? Was the restricted access to banned substances: drugs, alcohol, wild parties, pets with fur, older men, etc., cause the heat beneath, "I hate you, dad. I really hate you, sooooooo much!"
He was living at the heart of her world, she was part and parcel, the purpose of her dad's life, yet as such, he definitely was no longer part of her loop.
Bluntly put, today is his Independence Day. Soon it will be his birthday.
Sheheyla could, care less, fore she cares greatly; but he'll never know.
Dad is as stubborn as sin `neath the Sanctuary on Sunday morning. So is she.
To Frie
How's it hangin
(*>) I'm pretty bored I've been writing all these letters to you and Shelly
but you probably won't ever even see them (:>) My pens are almost out
(:<) I donÕt have any other cool pens.
If you guys know
where those pens are you can have them. IÕm stealing all my broÕs friends: ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I think Owen wants me. HeÕs really nice but kinda weird
(like really really weird). Most of the people here are pretty weird. ThereÕre
these guys who are kind of hippies (I think) and they always say hi to me jus
`cuz of my hair (TheyÕre pretty hot though.). This is a really messy letter;
hopefully you can read it (:>) I need some KRONIC! ThereÕs this one girl here named Sarah. SheÕs
pretty cool. She looks soo much like Chelsea (:<) Actually I think itÕs just
her nose (:>) Tell Brad and Mike, I said Hi and I miss them, O.K. Well, I
better go (:>)
Luv Shey
Her dad's dream: One independent adult, successful in adulthood, is the life goal, direction and objective of the independent parent raising an independent child.
Further more: His self-imaging and self-identification is and has been the instinctual (meaning: learned-from-mom) motive behind much of his parenting techniques. No surprise there: We tend to recreate the behavior our parent(s)-of-identification, model(s).
Bolstered by Early Childhood Education courses within an enlightened elementary level teacher-training program leading to a Bachelor of Education at the University of Victoria, BC, it so happened that during the "Whole Language, Learning-by-Doing" years of the late eighties, his single-parent mother's lessons in humanity in general and human relations in particular were validated by success in his classroom.
The "Golden Rule"i.e. Do unto others as you would have done to you, applies, in all ways, at all times, according to Sheheyla's dad. The mirror has spoken volumes, when he dared to see or listen to the child within and without.
See/be your child within, when speaking with your child without. Thus you will tend to speak with care, mindful of the feelings of your listeners, who in turn will be more inclined to, in fact, listen.
TO Little B
I haven't talked
to you for soooooo long. I tried to phone your foster home but nobody picked
up. Jaimee stopped smoking weed at lunch, eh? That's soooo sad, oh well. It's
her choice. I'm probably coming down on June 8 `cuz my mom's having some
festival thing. I'm gonna watch you're guys play.
What a messy
letter this is eh. Yesterday me and Jean
(Cajun's ex) and Holly went and got a 5 for 15 and smoked 3 joints in a
field then went to Kendell's, John's and Clint's (They're like, 20 and soooooo
hot.) and just sat around. Well, I better go. We're doing an experiment with
food in science.
My favourite leaf. BLUNT!
Luv, Shey
According to the ABC'S Of Pagan Parenting by Kirin Lee, "L is for Listening. Listen to your children and they will learn to listen to others. Their thoughts will give you insights into how they see the world."
It has gotten easier over the years, for Shey's dad to live within the awareness. The many choices derived through the extended deepening sense of self-awareness, has brought surprise back into his life and the lives of his children. They do surprise each other quite often these days. Honesty with sensitivity in clear communication is invariably refreshing.
To Frie
KRONIC
FRIENDS FOR LIFE!
4:20****MUSH****DRUGS****ACID****KRONIC****K.F.F.L
LUV Shey
Shey's dad has listened carefully, actively and passively, to the in-house communication between his teens and among some of their friends. He noticed that they were brutally honest with one another, without judgment, He gave them high marks for their clarity and sensitivity, given and taken with impunity. Amongst themselves, they tell it like it is, to whom it matters and move on from there. That clarity spoke to his inner child, who stood up and smiled, though his parental ears bristled from the profanity.
To Lil B
Hello (:>) How
are you? I'm fine. I wish I could of come up to Grey Lake this last
weekend. My brother has one friend
named Owen and he is sooooooooooooo weird. He talks soooooooo much. Oh well, he's still cool (:>) You should come
up and visit your sister then we can party (:>) And we'll toke till we
choke. I'm tired, oh well at least
I don't have school right in the morning, ha ha ha (evil sinister laughter).
This class is almost as boring as my old science class, ha ha. At least, there
I had Matt to talk to (:<)
Aww, I miss Grey Lake.
Ahhhh I actually miss the Greys, that's pretty bad, ha ha. I tried to phone
Matt, like yesterday; but noooo, he was at Shawn's. I tried to phone you too,
at like 10:30pm, but your auntie's like, Isn't it a bit too late to be phoning?
BITCH!!! ha ha ha. I can't believe your movin,
hopefully the people aren't as BITCHY your
auntie ha ha ha ha (:>) Fuck I'm bored, now in S. S. Class and its almost as
bad, except there's some hot guy named Tute. Isn't that a cool name? (:>)
Aaron's hair is black and red now,
ha ha ha. I bet it looks soooooo funny, He won't let me see it though (Unless
he just doesn't want me to see me.) ha ha. A couple nights ago, he phoned me
and was like, its not gonna happen, ha ha. He's soo much like his brothers now;
it's soooo sad (:<) I wish he didn't change as much. I wish he'd start
looking more like them instead of acting more like him. Well, I better go.
Luv Sexy Shey
Her dad's long journey through single parent survival school has brought him to the reality check that, a good parent, perhaps, sometimes, a great parent is first a friend to that child within and without.
He likes to imagine that he has learned to be a friend to all of his children.
Friend, in The Oxford Paperback Thesaurus, circa 1994, spans the spectrum of relationship,
companion, crony, mate, bosom friend, comrade, playmate, soul mate, intimate, confidante, confidant, familiar, alter ego, shadow, ally, associate; thus defining the kaleidoscopic nature of the interaction and growth process.
Dad also believes that: The friendship between parent and child begins at conception with the parental commitment to quality relationship within his/herself. The familiar environment is created from this core relationship. The child is thus welcomed as the vibrant fruit of healthy plants in fertile ground, well tended by loving hands.
The familiar relationship is an ongoing process of exploration, discovery and acceptance. Parent and child give and take the quality time to get to know each other. Independence is a learned way of living life. Parents teach by example in word and deed.
Practicing self-reliance, breeds the same in our children.
To Matt;
Hey girl, how's it
hangin? No I'm just kidding anus boy (:>) ha ha ha ha no I'm just kidding. I
miss the Greys. Ahhhhh, I can't believe I actually miss that shitty little town
(:>) I'm getting drunk this weekend (:>) I bet you anything you're not
(*>) My brother got all pissed at me `cuz one of his friends saw me smoking
but I was just trying to cover up the weed smell, oh well. There's a really hot
guy in this class his name's Tute
and he's African or something like that and he's like 6 foot something;
he's soooooooooo tall. But he doesn't talk very much so I haven't gotten to
meet him yet. Oh well, my pencils getting extremely dull but my teachers
talking so I can't go sharpen it.
I'm getting a
kitten but my dad doesn't know yet `cuz one of my friends has a kitten and
she's gonna take it and drop it of at my house and I'll accidentally find it
and have to keep it`cuz it has no home (:>) ha ha ha ha (:>) How evil I
am (:>) Finally, he stopped talking (:>) Look how sharp my pencil is. I
could kill someone with it (:>) FUCK!
I'm bored. I can't wait to go home and sleep, and get my kitten (:>) What
should I name it? Well I'll phone you tonight and ask you , but I gotta go do
my work now (:>)
Luv, Shey
Shey's mother's quaint log home loomed before them. Grey Lake, south shore, the Rez, home away from home, for Shey.
Road's end, Shey walked into the shining log home without looking back, content in the surety of her dad's gaze. No hugs, no words, no goodbyes, for the moment, there is simply nothing to say, for now.
They have chosen not to live together, for now. There was a choice, each in their way, in word and deed, have chosen. Now the challenge is to live with the choice.
The time for both to heal begins now.
It's dadÕs time out, to question, reflect, relive, reassess, reaffirm and accept the reality that she may have been bored with school, home, life, etc. Maybe she missed her mother, her friends or even the community. Her dad, now deeply mired in his own ancient hatred of the place and the community for the pain it has meant in his life, finds that last possibility, very difficult to comprehend.
Obviously, Sheheyla did not share his
feelings.
Shey's dad felt somewhat confused and perplexed, as he drove away, watching his daughter relaxing on the wrap around deck of her mother's home. Shey seemed surprisingly calm, even relieved, given the circumstances.
"Was all this part of some insidious
plan?" He pondered. And, he wondered, "Where did she get that kitten?"